


Graveyard blues

by creepingdarkness



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Gore, M/M, Swearing, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-13 13:05:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9125026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creepingdarkness/pseuds/creepingdarkness
Summary: Who knew breaking into a graveyard was a bad idea?





	1. Chapter 1

Evan huffed as he pulled himself to the top of the tall stone wall, avoiding iron spikes that he was pretty sure weren’t there last time he came. Usually it was daytime when he came which meant the front gate was unlocked, making his visit much easier. He made a point to visit his grandma every year on her birthday, but this year he was late. He’d been busy all day, and by the time he had finished everything it was shortly after 11 at night, leaving him very little time to make it to her along with the other stop he had to make. Shaking off those thoughts he stopped wasting precious time, and started eyeing up where he wanted to land.

Without any further hesitation, he took a flying leap off the top of the wall, going into a roll to soften the landing. Wiping off the wet dew from the grass he grabbed his bag he had thrown over before him, and made his way as quickly as he could to the back area where he knew his grandma was without tripping over anything in the dark. He didn’t want to risk turning on his phones flashlight in case someone saw the light and thought he was breaking in or something, even though he was. Finally reaching his destination he pulled out his phone. With the touch of a finger the display faintly lighted up to display the time 12:02 am.

“Sorry I missed your birthday grandma.” He said feeling slightly guilty as he kneeled down and pulled off his bag. “I know you’d be telling me that it’s good that I’m actually spending time with the living, but I still feel bad.” He pulled out a fresh bouquet of her favorite lilies, laying them gently before her headstone beside several others. “I’ll let you in on a secret though, I’d rather have been here with you all day than with any of them.”

He sighed and plucked a piece of grass to run through his fingers as he talked. “It’s probably more my fault than theirs, like you remember that time wh-” his voice cut off in surprise when he felt a hand on his shoulder, he hadn’t even heard anyone approaching. He turned to apologize, but ended up scuttling backwards away at what he saw.

An actual zombie. He’d think someone was just messing with him, but nobody could fake how horribly rotted the creature before him was, the stench slowly reaching him was gag worthy. He panicked as the creature advanced, it was moving towards him faster that he was retreating. Evan kicked out one of its legs from under it when it was close enough, but it toppled forward onto him and a face that was smiling ear to ear from rot was brought within a foot of his own face. With a high pitched yell he shoved it back, adding in a kick for good measure that only ended up sinking into the mess that once was its stomach.

Pulling his foot free he struggled to his feet and started to run, or at least tried to before the creature grabbed him by the ankle, unbalancing him mid step and causing him to fall face first back down. It was immediately crawling back up him, this time clinging on with a death grip as he desperately tried to kick it off. he felt it trying to bite his shoulder through his clothing, and started rolling to try and dislodge it. Its teeth pressed even harder into him before dislodging, but its hands still had a grip on him and it would only be moments before it could get at the exposed flesh of his neck. He struggled to get to his feel while one of his hands grabbed one of the rotting hands, trying to pull it off but failing as death seemed to have given the zombies rotten body incredible strength.

Evan had nearly accepted his fate when he heard a solid thunk sound mixed with the cracking of bone, and then felt the weight being pulled off his back. Turning to see what had happened, Evan felt the relief turning into an icy wash of horror. His savior was giant guy in a Jason mask holding a gore covered machete menacingly over him.  
Making the only obvious conclusion Evan tried to get up and run, but the Jason wannabe seemed prepared for that, effortlessly grabbing him by his shirt collar and forcing him to face him, machete held up as a wordless threat.

“Are you okay?” the guy asked in a surprisingly normal sounding voice. Receiving a slightly unsure nod the guy continued. “Is it just you?” he said, getting impatient when Evan didn’t immediately reply he shook him. “And don’t lie, that won’t end well.”

“Yes.” Evan gasped out, unsure whether he should’ve lied or not. Either way the guy seemed to relax a little at his answer.

“So then that was your high pitched screaming I heard?” the guys tone sounded like it was making fun of him, but it was hard to be certain. Still, Evan was never one to take shit, even from whoever the hell this was.

“It wasn’t-” Evan got cut off by the guy putting his blade against his throat, which despite how threating it was, still seemed a little playful with the way the guy tilted his head. He sighed reluctantly before forcing himself to agree. “Yes.” The guys laughter at that sounded a little maniacal.

“Great, now you’ve got five words or less to explain why you’re here, or I’m going to leave you to them.” The guy said, gesturing with his machete to the darkness around them where Evan now realized there were more figures in the dark shambling towards them.

“I’m visiting my grandma,” he paused for a moment considering his final word, before smirking at his choice. “bitch.” He figured if the guy had a sense of humor and went to all the effort to save him, he wasn’t about to let him die now. And he was proven right when the guy let go of him and just laughed his weird laugh at that.

“Alright then you dick, follow me.”


	2. Chapter 2

“I’m Evan by the way.” He said trailing along beside the guy as he made a bee-line towards one of the shambling figures. Receiving no reply he continued on with a more sarcastic tone. “And this is the part where you say _your_ name.”

Almost upon one of the un-dead the guy barely glanced back towards him as he replied. “Giving out your actual name around here isn’t always the best idea.” he kicked the zombies leg out from under it, swiftly decapitating the fallen zombie before plunging his blade through its skull. “You can call me Delirious though.”

As Evan watched him wipe the machete off on the body’s old clothing, he decided the weird name suited the weird guy. “Okay. So what the hell is going on here? Is this some sort of… I don’t know, zombie apocalypse?” he finished lamely as Delirious snorted and started laughing.

“Fuck no, or well, probably not. This shits been going on here for a couple months, they’re still trying to figure out why, and till then I’m here to put these fuckers down and make sure none escape. Past two weeks had been easy as shit till you showed up and got them all riled up.” Delirious turned to playfully nudge him with his elbow, making him stumble a little in surprise.  His words sounded accusing, but there was no heat in his voice, just a bit of amusement.

“Are you serious Delirious? Hey, that kinda rhymed!” they both laughed at that which surprised Evan, he hadn’t actually laughed in a long time. Oddly enough he actually seemed to be having fun with a guy who was dressed like a murderer in a graveyard full of zombies. He _really_ needed to get out more often.

“OH! OH! Also you can never tell anybody about this or you’re uh, you’re gonna die.” Delirious sounded far too excited saying that, like he had just remembered something important, not a death threat. Evan stopped walking, but Delirious just continued on for another couple feet before noticing he wasn’t following anymore. “What?”

“You can’t just say stuff like that and not explain!” he frowned and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Watch me! Now stop pouting and get moving, unless you wanna get eaten?” Delirious’ tone was smug, and as much as he didn’t want to, Evan had to admit he made a compelling point. With a dramatic sigh he started following him again, dragging his feet as they headed towards…the middle of the graveyard?

“Where are we going anyway? The gates over there.” Evan said pointing to the side. Delirious’ masked face turned towards him.

“To my sex dungeon.” His voice was dead serious, but he only managed a couple seconds before he burst out laughing at Evans expression. “We got a little shack set up in the middle. Because of the zombies we had to make it a lot harder to leave, so you’re stuck here till my buddy opens the gate at sunrise when they all go back to uh, to staying dead for the day I guess?” Delirious shrugged before draping an arm over Evans shoulders. “Now hurry up, I’ve still gotta go put those undead bastards back to sleep, _forever_ sleep!” he said hustling him along till they reached his ‘little shack’.

Delirious led him inside, and Evan was slightly disappointed with how normal it was. There were two rooms, one was tiny and only held a toilet, Delirious just shrugged when he asked why the sink was outside of it. The main part wasn’t very big either, containing a cot, the sink, a single locker and a desk with a mini fridge under it, and small bunny eared television along with a weird screen covered in dots on top of it.

Evan watched Delirious as he opened up the locker and started digging around in it. Able to finally see him properly in the light Evan realized he wasn’t as huge as he thought, he was actually covered in a fair bit of protective gear. He jumped when Delirious turned back to him, having momentarily forgotten about his mask. His curiosity was battling with his unease at the idea of what was under it.

“Hey Delirious why are you wearing a mask, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Those little hoochies out there like to go for the face.” He shrugged as if it wasn’t important and went back to searching in the locker.

“Okay, but you’re inside right now, you could take it off.” Evan said cautiously, unsure how sensitive he was about this. Delirious just brushed it off again with a chuckle.

“I could, I definitely could, but I uh, I like seeing how much you freak out every time I turn around.” Delirious admitted with another laugh. Before a now embarrassed Evan could defend himself, Delirious pulled what he had been looking for out of the locker and presented it to him. “I don’t have any spare clothes, but here’s some rags you can clean yourself off with. You could also try and rinse your clothes in the sink if you want.” He then went and checked the screen covered in dots, nodding to himself before turning back to Evan. “Anyway I’ll be back soon, try not to get stinky guts all over everything while I’m gone.”

And with that Evan was left alone. Looking down at himself Evan nearly gagged he realized the front of his shirt and pants were smeared with goo and little bits of rotten flesh. He assumed the back side was even worse from the zombie being squished under him, and his one shoe was absolutely coated in nastiness. He started stripping down to his underwear as quickly as he could, deciding it would be much better to wear wet semi-clean clothing than the damp disgusting things he was wearing now. He rinsed the worst off each before leaving them under the running water of the tap as he moved onto himself.

Soaking one of the rags under the running water, Evan wished for a shower, he was thankful for what Delirious had given him but he still wished for something to properly wash off the disgusting sent and gooey stuff that had soaked through the fabric of his clothing. He was nearly done wiping himself off when he thought heard a sound outside.

Turning off the tap so he could hear better, Evan hoped he was just hearing things. It had only been a couple minuets since Delirious left so he figured he shouldn’t back already, but a couple moments later he definitely heard Delirious’ muffled but distinct voice coming from outside. He felt a rush of adrenaline as he realized he was still nearly naked and Delirious was about to come in, and then ice cold panic as he heard a second voice. Crap. He was still frozen, mind just starting to make a plan to grab his clothes and rush into the bathroom when the door handle turned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part came out a little weird, but the next part should be better.


	3. Chapter 3

The door pushed open to reveal a mysterious hooded figure, who was facing backward to talk to Delirious.

“I don’t see what you’re upset about, it’s a good thing I came by with all those bastards getting up tonight.” The guy was saying, too deep in his conversation to notice him. On the other hand, he could tell the exact moment Delirious noticed him, his body going rigid, and Evan could practically feel his eyes boring holes into him even through the mask, Evan wished he knew what he was thinking. “I wonder what they’re so riled up- what?” The mystery guy interrupted himself when he noticed Delirious wasn’t paying attention. Noticing his focus the guy turned back towards the room.

Evan took that moment to change himself into a more casual stance, as if it wasn’t totally weird that he was just standing there almost naked. Meeting the guys gaze he felt the hair on the back of his neck rise. The hood obscured some of the guys features, but from what was visible he looked normal. Evan wasn’t sure why he was so off putting, but something about him screamed _wrong/unnatural_. Still he managed to smile at the guy who just glared before he turned back to Delirious.

“Delirious what the fuck?” the guy sounded absolutely exasperated. “Didn’t you learn after last time?” the guy turned back around, moving further into the shack and heading straight for Evan, until Delirious caught him by the shoulder.

“Cartoonz, no no no, Cartoonz I can totally explain!” Delirious objected, circling around Cartoonz until he was standing beside Evan. Cartoonz simply crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. “This is… he’s, my best um, he’s my best hooker!” Delirious claimed uncertainly, hooking an arm around Evans waist and pulling him in against his side as if to help prove his point. Evan shivered at the feeling of his rough hand against his hip, but didn’t fight his grip.

Evan wanted to face palm at that ridiculous statement, and from the look of things Cartoonz wanted to even more than he did.

“You’ve gotta be shitting me.” Cartoonz said, tiredly wiping a hand across his eyes. “Prove it.”

Thinking quickly Evan shrugged, and in an incredibly bored voice replied “Voyeurism costs extra.” Feeling Delirious start to shake with silent laughter, Evan jabbed a finger into his side, earning a glare from masked man but stopping his laughter before it became too noticeable.

“Jesus Christ, forget I said anything!” Cartoonz held his hands up in surrender, but Evan saw his eyes give him an appraising once over. “So Delirious told you about what we were doing out there right?” Cartoonz tone was much friendlier now, but Evan was still on edge about him. Before he replied he felt Delirious grip on his side tighten in a clear warning.

Lie.

“Yeah, he said he like to go scare kids who come to make out in the graveyard, that’s why he wears the mask.” Evan delivered the lie flawlessly.

“Yep, that’s our Delirious! Now I gotta go, but it was nice meeting you?” Cartoonz trailed off in a way that implied Evan was supposed to give his name, but he didn’t need to feel Delirious’ grip on him tighten again to remember what he had said about giving out your real name.

“Vanoss.”

Cartoonz smiled at him in a way that almost managed to seem genuine before turning back to Delirious. “We’re gonna have to have a talk about this later man.” He said before pulling Delirious into a quick hug then heading out the still open door. “See ya.” He called out as he slammed the door shut.

With him gone Evan immediately turned to question Delirious but was met with a finger pressed against his lips. Delirious motioned to the screen covered in dots. “The graveyards full of motion detectors.” Catching his drift but unable to make sense of the screen on his own, he waited till he was given the all clear before opening the floodgate of questions.

“Okay what was that all about? What was with that guy? Why’d you say I was a hooker? And I thought you said we couldn’t leave, so where did he go?”

“You want to leave that badly?” Delirious awkwardly joked in a sad attempt to deflect the question. Evan frowned.

“No, I like being here with you, but that’s not the point!”

Delirious just sighed and sat down on the cot, burying his head in his hands. “Cartoonz is just really protective of me. Awhile back there was a couple that got caught in here, I only managed to save one of them, and sorta like you I kept them safe till the next day. Once they were free they immediately started telling people and trying to contact the news. It didn’t end well for them, or for me, and it would’ve been even worse if Cartoonz hadn’t intervened in time. That’s why I didn’t want him to know you were someone else I was helping, he’d get too overprotective and I’m not totally sure what he would do.” Delirious voice was full of remembered pain, and Evans heart ached in sympathy for him.

Evan moved and sat down beside him on the cot, hesitating uncertainly for a moment before placing a comforting hand on his leg. “Shit dude I’m sorry. Thanks for taking a risk and helping me”

“It’s alright. Anyways, I said you were a hooker because I had no idea how to explain you being almost naked in here.” Delirious joked, obviously trying to change the subject. It worked this time though as it reminded Evan that he was still only in his underwear. Remembering his stuff in the sink he got up to go check it. “Just wring your stuff out and hang it on something, you can wrap yourself up in this blanket instead, and hopefully they’ll dry out a bit before Mini gets here.”

Following the others advice, he wrung his clothes out and draped them across the sink since there was few places to put them in the shack. Going back to the bed Delirious passed him the blanket, and he wrapped it around himself before plopping back down beside the guy.

“Mini?” he questioned, amused by the name.

“Mini Ladd, he’s the one who’s gonna open the gate.”

“Oh. Hey you still haven’t explained how Cartoonz left?”

“Dude I’ve already told you way too many things that I shouldn’t have, but he’s different then you and I, let’s leave it at that.”

Great, more secrets.

“Alright. Now what then?”

“Wanna watch tv?”


End file.
